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Emotional intelligence. Self control

Emotional intelligence. Self control

At first glance it seems a contradiction of terms. Intelligence, reason, logic, do not seem to be very compatible with emotions, feelings, feelings. But, we often say: "do not make decisions after the moment's impulses, sit and think for a while" or the well-known saying "love is blind".

The specialist in psychology and neuroscience, Antonio R. Damasio, has studied a possible connection between the two relationship functions performed by the human brain. He concluded: "The ability to express and live emotions is part of the register of reason and, conversely, correct reasoning depends on emotional ability. The two support and develop each other."

The studies of the Portuguese researcher explain how and to what extent our actions are dictated by emotional experiences, but also the effects of imbalances that may occur.

So what is emotional intelligence?

Understanding, recognition, awareness of emotions and feelings. The ability to outsource, express in words, gestures, through art (painting, music) and receive them in similar ways.

The self-control power of emotional experiences, for example according to certain social norms. Empathy or the possibility of living and understanding the feelings of others (close or not). The ability to appreciate the emotional effects of one's actions, actions, words, etc. (on his and others).

Balance and imbalance

The two will never play the same. A perfect balance may not exist, but we oscillate around it depending on age, situations or circumstances, certain periods we go through and, with all this, we are normal.

In everyday life, however, we encounter varying degrees of imbalance, people more or less inclined in one direction or the other: politicians with above average intelligence, but who fail to adapt their efforts to the real needs of the population ( maybe because they fail to understand them), mathematicians completely absorbed in their research, but jockeys or with a very poor social life or very shy, timid, anxious people, etc., who cannot use reason to use their reason. overcome difficulties.

The striking imbalances often have genetic determinism. Exclusive living of emotions or cold reason characterizes conditions encountered in psychological or psychiatric pathology. Neuroses such as depression, anxiety or various mental disorders have in the foreground the excessive manifestation of emotions at the expense of reason and the correct perception of reality.

There is also the reverse of the medal, in which the intellect, the logic hold the monopoly, see Asperger's syndrome in which the reason is at the highest levels, but the warm social relationship is missing. It is known that Albert Einstein, probably the most brilliant intelligence of humanity, suffered from this syndrome.

Emotional intelligence depends largely on the environment in which a child grows up. But it is a function that is learned and developed throughout life. Deficits of emotional intelligence can cause communication problems, broken couples, or various conflicts between family members. Many times, with a little help from a friend or psychologist or after a lifetime event, the blockages that some people have in experiencing emotions and feelings can be broken.

In order to develop our emotional intelligence, sometimes we need to make some effort, to open our mind and heart. But what is important to know is that we have this ability.

Tags Emotional intelligence