"I remember when I was 12 years old, being curious, I searched in DEX for some words starting with" p "and" f ". I had heard them on the street. It was in Ceausescu's time.
I didn't even know the internet could exist. An atlas of the anatomy of the extremely poor human body in some chapters and a DEX, which had been through the great flood since 1975, were my only sources of information, given that in our house there was no talk of "some things".
Later, I realized that there were other words with close meaning, which, finally, I found in the dictionary. But I was not, honestly, satisfied. We are looking for something else. Something that was harder to find.
Now I think: If I was a child in today's times, I would find out very quickly my curiosity.
I was just looking for something I should have done. I know how to write and read. On the internet for example! It is very easy, on chats, on forums, to find someone who can explain in detail the words "p" and "f". But the websites where those words are used are full of information ...
It's a thin line between good and bad, especially when we talk about the internet
Somewhere, in the story above, there was a slip from what is good. As an adult you noticed it. But it is very easy for a child to fall victim to such a slip. Unfortunately, many children, driven by curiosities, have come to find out more than they wanted, through the Internet.
They come dangerously close to places from which they can be picked up by people who are not very well intentioned. To human traffickers, pedophiles, extremist groups, the internet provides them with the virtual land where they can take whatever face they want. It's almost magical.
Children are curious by nature. They want to know everything, ask or try to find out in any way when they do not receive the answer. But they are naive and do not have the self-censorship of the adult who knows how to avoid the dangers alone.
Curiosity increases, especially when I feel a little resistance. I am referring to the topics of discussion that we are avoiding to approach: sexuality or those we see on television, but we do not imagine that they can enter the lives of our children (trafficking in human beings, prostitution). They feel this resistance because all children have the gift of understanding without words, perceiving our nonverbal gestures, fears, messages.
Internet and children. Some tips for parents
Looking for be open and generous in communication with the child from the beginning. Answer questions without fear: better to find out from yourself than from sources lacking parental control.
If you are caught by a very direct question and do not know at once how to model the answer to suit the age of the child, you can say: "I do not know myself, but I am interested and I tell you." Do not delay too long because the question will come again (children have an extraordinary memory).
What to do? These are the times. Even the old DEX has adapted and now carries in it words with "p" and "f".
Do not prohibit access to the Internet and do not over-limit it, because this will make his curiosity even more so. Moreover, the child will hide his incursions from you on the net. After all, the Internet is a phenomenon-tool of today and children cannot live out of reality. It is good to know him, being aware of the dangers to which they can be subjected.
A good idea is to sail together, but beware of the attitude of the supervisor. Be partners in exploration. Thus you can guide and channel your searches to sites that present safety and quality information (encyclopedias, science, hobbies, artistic activities, carefully chosen games). In addition, this is how you prepared the ground to meet his friends who communicate in this way. Along the way, you tell them about the pitfalls they can fall into, warn him about spam messages and unknown people that can be met online.
Give them alternatives. You can exercise beneficial control over the social environment of the child. By choosing the school, enrolling in extracurricular activities, the children's club, children's research circles, sports clubs, you give them the opportunity to meet many real, interesting people, selected by you, who would prefer the "virtual friends" on the Internet. .
In closing I will also tell you that the story from the beginning of the article is real and that it is part of my life.
Bianca Ghizdavu - sexologist
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Pornography and minors
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